Grampappy’s Files: The Art of the Deal-making Through Games
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TL;DR
- Negotiation games are powerful tools for learning communication skills.
- Negotiation is a focused application of communication where the specific goal is to reach an agreement that benefits all parties involved.
- Games like Catan, Chinatown, and Bohnanza all create different environments that challenge your communication skills.
- The three key lessons about negotiation we learned from games are: 1) Effective negotiation requires knowing yourself AND your trading partner. Information is power. 2) Negotiation is a balancing game between self-interest and empathy. 3) The more you exchange with others, the further you’ll go.
- There is a foundational skill that negotiation games don’t teach: how to place and defend your boundaries.
- We created a game that forces players to explore the mechanics of negotiation in a wacky trading free-for-all.
- Play our game to have fun while improving your communication skills.
When I was a kid, I fell through a curious well and discovered a magical world. I was stuck on the other side for most of the 90s and longer; all that time without teachers, friends, or family. I came out of there a little wonky, I admit, but at least I came back [not] socially awkward! After all, the world of imagination is full of all the learning in the universe. There’s no master’s program or corporate seminars on that side, but I was still able to learn The Art of Deal-Making in the World of Negotiation Games.
This world of Negotiation Games was a dog-eat-dog world! It was inhabited by many kingdoms, each with its own rules and customs surrounding negotiation. During my time there, I learned three important things that negotiation experts agree are the essence of success: you need to know your partner and yourself, negotiation is about balance, and you get further by trading than not.
The Unsettling Island of Catan
I arrived at the unsettled Island of Catan and its bountiful hexagonal terrains. I settled in a little forest cottage, and it wasn’t long before my neighbors came around needing help. You see, they had a whole lot of brick, and they just needed some lumber to finish their roads. Unfortunately, they hadn’t a brick to spare, only a flock of haggard old sheep. They begged me to accept this deal now and said I’d be repaid with interest when they could. So, I took their sheep for all my lumber and went back to my humble cottage.
As the days went by, my little forest grew dry and barren, and I had no more lumber to trade. I cuddled my sheep and cried myself to sleep. The next day, I made an appeal to my neighbors — who had since erected cities and built roads leading to their second homes by the seaside — and asked them to give me a good price for the sheep they had once unloaded on me, perhaps enough to build a road or two and make a cottage somewhere more hospitable. They had the audacity to say they didn’t have any resources to spare! I huffed and puffed, stuffed my sheep in a ship, and sailed the heck outta there!
Effective negotiation is deeply rooted in a comprehensive understanding of all involved parties. During my first visit to Catan, I failed to acknowledge my own needs and trusted people I hardly knew. I thought if I was kind to my neighbors, they would be kind in return, but a wise old man made me realize my mistake. He said:
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.
I was inspired by old man Sun Tzu. If you know what your opponent wants, you can exploit it for your maximum gain (*MUA HA HA HA*). Even Catan champions agree that using all the available information is key to winning the game. Remembering what resources other players have and the trades they have sought can lead them to reveal their strategy, and with that, you’ll have maximum leverage. Thanks to Sun Tzu’s teaching, I was ready for my next trial in the world of negotiation games.
The Year of the Snake in Chinatown
It wasn’t long before I arrived at Chinatown in the 60s. I got off the boat, traded my exotic Catanese Sheep for some property and cash, and got ready to live the American Dream! It was the year of the serpent, and my horoscope said I shouldn’t take $%&! from anyone anymore. Last time I had tried playing negotiation games, I was only thinking about others and not myself. This time would be different.
I told my neighbors I’d be coming in on some primo lots by Canal St. and managed to get their properties for a great price. Next thing you know, I had a booming laundry business, making me tons of cash. I was gonna be the biggest businessman in Chinatown! But people don’t like to see others succeed. The years passed, and those Canal St. lots I’d promised never came — but, hey! That’s not my problem, right? And yet… all the properties I owned were now spread around the map, so I wasn’t making enough money anymore. To make matters worse, none of the other players would trade with me anymore. In Catan, I got scammed, and in Chinatown, I had been ostracized. First I was too trusting and now too self-interested? This whole negotiation thing was a scam!
Communication is based on building trust and forming mutually beneficial agreements for all parties involved. In Chinatown, a player’s success largely depends on their ability to conduct open and fair negotiations, which help advance their positions while strengthening relationships with other players. My buddy, Nicky on Bleecker Street, told me that deals that end in reciprocity and mutual gain can foster lasting cooperation and trust, and he knows a thing or two about Game Theory. Playing with his simulator made me realize that negotiation is about balancing interests and not just maximizing my gain. Still, after becoming a pariah in Chinatown, I wasn’t sure I was ready to put myself out there again. I needed a fresh start, so I sold-off my laundromat business and moved to the countryside.
To Bean or not to Bean
I arrived at the humble town of Bohnanza, where I bought a plot of land and thought I’d try being a humble bean farmer. WRONG! The World of Negotiation Games is all about having the most, and there’s just no way around that. Round came my neighbors hoping to strike a deal for my pinto beans, and I told them to buzz off! I didn’t care about being the richest anymore, and I just wanted to farm my beans in peace.
It was as if, by magic, I had started getting all the beans I needed and was quickly becoming a self-made bean mogul. I tried my best to not, but I was starting to care about winning again. I could taste it! The other farmers were close to having more coins than me, and I gave in. I went knocking to their farms with my tail between my legs. We showed each other our beans and got to negotiating. In the end, I had the beans they wanted, but they didn’t have anything too great for me, so I refused to give anything up. I stood by as they traded their way to victory and left me behind again!
Negotiation games demand adaptability and creative problem-solving, skills crucial to navigating unforeseen challenges and seizing sudden opportunities. Bohnanza challenges players to adapt their strategies in response to the beans cards drawn and the actions of others. You need to devise creative trades and sometimes have the flexibility to accept a deal that may not be immediately beneficial to you. Most players of negotiation games find that the player who participated in the most trades often has an advantage. My plan to try and do it all alone had been a spectacular failure.
Frustrated, I took my coins and packed up what little beans I had left. I’d had enough of this place. As I made my way to the exit, Old Farmer Marshall stopped me in my tracks. He had seen my hardships and told me there was one last place I should visit before leaving this world. I told him I was over it; I tried doing what others wanted, I tried doing what I wanted, and I tried doing something in between. None of it had worked! “You need to learn the difference between a demand and a request.” He said as he pointed to a path leading to a dark, misty forest.
Frango Morango
I went through the forest path and arrived at a very normal-looking farm. I sighed in relief, thinking I was somehow out of the chaotic world of negotiation games, but I was wrong again. Before I knew it, I had a farm, a piggy with 5 stomachs to feed, and a bushel of wacky crops that made no sense: frangos, morangos, fardos, tempos… I didn’t know how to trade any of these things!
In no time, I met my wacky-farming neighbors as they rushed towards the Harvest Fair carrying their piggies. They told me that if I wanted to fatten up my piggy for the contest, I had to trade, trade, trade! The rules were simple:
- Always be making offers.
- Always listen when someone makes you an offer.
- Always do as the Deal of the Day says.
Sometimes, the Deal of the Day was 2-for-1, and other days, it was 1-for-3. Sometimes, it was an even-steven 1-for-1 deal, but it was never really fair. These farmers didn’t know the meaning of the word “No”; they literally had never heard it. They were used to absolutely getting what they wanted when they wanted it. The crops went back and forth, but no piggy was getting fatter. There was a total lack of order and boundaries, and these deals of the day weren’t deals at all: they were demands!
So, while everyone was asleep, I added a new rule to the Harvest Fair: “4. You can always say, ‘No’!” The next morning, the farmers all but went crazy. They had no idea how to say “No,” so I taught them. I made a deck of cards to teach them about all the ways they could respond when a deal wasn’t good for them: “No, thank you,” “No, I need more,” “I need to think about it,” and many more. Luckily, they were quick learners and quickly started defending their boundaries and negotiating. Now that they understood the other person could refuse, they were forced to learn about each other’s piggies and come up with deals that would be beneficial for both. They were no longer demanding; they were making requests!
Unfortunately, the farmers took some creative licenses with that last rule. They decided that they could always say “No”… as long as they had a card to say it. So, they started carrying around the counter-offer cards I made. They would bring them to the bank, the market, the dentist, family reunions, and just about anywhere they expected to negotiate. The cards made them feel safe and empowered to ask for time to think, to ask for more, to give less, or change the deal towards mutual gain. But again, only if they had the card.
As for myself, I learned that I had all these options inside of me, that I can say, “No” at any time, and that the other person can too! With my newfound security and self-responsibility, I went back through the land of negotiation games and conquered them all with cunning, mutual gain, and rock-solid boundaries. I became the Baron of Bhonanza, the Chief of Chinatown, and the Sultan of Catan!
Games for Learning Negotiation
I took the things I learned in the world of negotiation and turned them into the game of Frango Morango, a wacky trading card game where you win by saying, “No!” It is the only forced-negotiation game ever made, apparently, where rather than negotiating as you please, you’ll be restricted by the cards you have available in your hand. You can’t just say, “No,” you gotta have the card for it. It teaches you how to negotiate from scratch: first to understand what you want, then what other people want, and then to take turns shaping an offer that represents mutual gain. It is a game of balance and strategy where the fattest piggy wins, but also the most skilled farmer.
Like other negotiation games, Frango Morango lets you practice figuring out your trading partner. It lets you experience the power of mutual gain and challenges you to find a creative strategy to eventually come out on top. It’s a challenging testing ground for soft skills and emotional intelligence.
Unlike other negotiation games, Frango Morango gives you an in-depth look into every mechanical aspect involved in a negotiation, and it gives you the foundational communication skills to go out into the wild world of negotiation games. Thanks to the forced-negotiation mechanic, this game is able to display the minor complexities of negotiation and teach some valuable communication skills in the process.
I had a rough start in the World of Negotiation Games, but once I felt comfortable defending my boundaries, offers stopped feeling like demands. I was able to open myself to other people and their needs while also respecting my own. This led to strong trade relationships based on mutual gain and trust, which turned into a bunch of trades. And in the negotiation world, the player with the best relationships comes out on top.
Learning negotiation is a matter of practice and perspective. Negotiation games create a situation where trade is necessary. The way in which those trades happen is through negotiation, and experimenting with different strategies is how we develop our skills. These games are especially effective for kids, as it gives parents and teachers a shared experience to draw from when teaching soft skills. Warning: kids with emotional intelligence and strong communication skills may be less, way less, prone to anxiety, depression, and stress-related conditions.
So, take a lap through the World of Negotiation to work on your communication skills. The more you trade, the more you gain, but remember: you can always refuse.
If you have trouble with that concept or want to make sure your kids have no trouble defending their boundaries, take the creepy forest path to the wacky farms of Frango Morango! A game made by people-pleasers to teach people-pleasers how to say, “No!”*
*As long as they have the cards.
Bibliography
- Catan Review — Still Worth It?: https://youtu.be/MR0Ns2m3VQQ?si=dXcvKEgUJJDCEUd8
- Chinatown — How to Play and Why it’s a Gem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MM6g5dIy0Tk
- How to Play Bhonanza in 5 Minutes: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_OsVHe5-OE
- The Art of War, by Sun Tzu: https://suntzusaid.com/book/3/18/
- The Evolution of Trust, by Nicky Case: https://ncase.me/trust/
- Non-Violent Communication, by Marshall B. Rosenberg: https://www.amazon.com/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships/dp/189200528X
- How to Make a Request NVC Explained: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cxz0HrBJ248
- Emotions & Negotiation: https://www.pon.harvard.edu/daily/negotiation-skills-daily/the-impact-of-anxiety-and-emotions-on-negotiations-how-to-avoid-misjudgment-in-negotiation-scenarios/
Stay tuned for deeper insights with more of Grampappy’s Files as he uncovers the power of how Games are for Learning. Don’t forget to follow us to uncover all the mysteries that await and the surprises to come.
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